Hello to everyone,
Since last few years I am in great Dilemma. I don't know what is Love?
2 - 3 girls came in my life? I never gathered courage to tell them that I love them. Then I got someone who loves me but initially I don't love her. As we understand each other more we becme very good friend and we don't know when we starrted loving each other.
We have spent lot of time together with each other just sitting besides her. Sometimes we spent my whole day in her lap just feeling her energy.
Mean while there is a large urge of sex inside me. I never expressed my desire for sex to her. As time passes she understood me and she is now even ready to have a sex with me.
Whenever Love her I always have a great urge for sex with her. But, whenever the moments of sex will come than I feel so uncomfotable with the sex and I stop myself from going into sex. In those moments i thought that I may not looking for these thing from her. So, I stop myself frm doing it immediately.
I feel that i am doing something very wrong by doing sex.
I don't know how to takle the situation?
Please somene guide me.
Kalpesh
Since last few years I am in great Dilemma. I don't know what is Love?
2 - 3 girls came in my life? I never gathered courage to tell them that I love them. Then I got someone who loves me but initially I don't love her. As we understand each other more we becme very good friend and we don't know when we starrted loving each other.
We have spent lot of time together with each other just sitting besides her. Sometimes we spent my whole day in her lap just feeling her energy.
Mean while there is a large urge of sex inside me. I never expressed my desire for sex to her. As time passes she understood me and she is now even ready to have a sex with me.
Whenever Love her I always have a great urge for sex with her. But, whenever the moments of sex will come than I feel so uncomfotable with the sex and I stop myself from going into sex. In those moments i thought that I may not looking for these thing from her. So, I stop myself frm doing it immediately.
I feel that i am doing something very wrong by doing sex.
I don't know how to takle the situation?
Please somene guide me.
Kalpesh
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Unsu...
Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, May 28, 2007 - 2:02 PMI'm no expert,
But it sounds to me like you have an issue with sex, not necessarily with this girl?
sounds like you think sex is bad or is going to make your relationship worse or change it... which it would, as sex does add a very different dynamic to a friendship.
I think osho would have said to be aware of your feelings towards sex, you say you didnt feel love for her at first, but now you do, surely this urge for sex is natural if it is coming through you when you are with the one you love? You just want to share yourself with her and give her pleasure too...?
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Wed, May 30, 2007 - 8:23 AMYes, I agree with Emily. It looks as though maybe you problem is with your feelings about sex. You can have sex for fun! Don't beliveit, try it...No thought of love, just pure animal attraction, if you feel the energy and are atracted to this, don't stop. Don't let your mind get in the way. Go with the urge, follow your heart /feelings, desires.....not the mind. It brings confusion, what should I do etc.???? Don't be so serious, play, laugh, enjoy.
I also am no expert, but to be natural and flow with the feeling instead of the shoulds seems to be the best way. Sex is one thing, Love another...the magic happens when you fall in love then sex is a glorious delicacy to be drowned in and dissappear...
Enjoy it! and laugh....Luvs, Krishna -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Wed, May 30, 2007 - 1:25 PMYou both are no experts... why answer? You confuse the girl...:-)))))
I wouldn't distinguish and I'm an expert!!! -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 8:51 AMWe did say we were NOT experts. They asked for an opinion, we gave one. The big question is.......
Why are you so mean to people???
In Hawaiian they say..." Take one look inside Brah"
Luvs, Krishna -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 8:54 AMWe didn't confuse her.....He is a him.... -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Fri, June 1, 2007 - 3:32 PMThats what I said, you confuse her!!!
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Unsu...
Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 8:16 AMYes, I don';t think either of our advice was confusing - and just because I'm not mega experienced, does not mean i don't have a perceptiveness about anything.
I thought that all truly wise people did not ever claim to know it all anyway?
I am not wise, but i know that i do'nt know everything. But I think that krishna and my help was good and not confusing.
Be in the moment! -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 8:29 AMEmily......It is 2 women talking to a woman, simple. I don't think either one of us is confused...
Luvs, Krishna...
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 8:36 AMEmily,
Truly wise people claim to know everything. Thats why we posed questions to Osho. And he answered mostly something stupid with a joke.
I am wise in sex and love matters. And I say don't distinguish. If you have orange juice you know it's orange juice, if you have grapefruit juice you know it's that. If you have both you know what you want in that moment. Sometimes it's sweet sex, sometimes it's bitter love. Try both and take what you want in the moment! Be in the moment.
If you don't know, don't advise...:-))) just teasing.
"Comes a man to the doctor and sais: Doctor:....I forgot, see "The Goose is out" lecture 6...
LOVE and SEX
Prayoga
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Sat, June 2, 2007 - 1:08 AMKrishna, be glad it's only Pragoya and not Deeksha, Pragoya still has mercy, Deeksha as far as I know... holy shit, she was really too much. Which is why Osho put her in charge of worship ... that was a long time ago ...and used her as a medium for his oh so famous Zen sticks.
I have never met a Hawaiian who could truly look inside. They all looked outside all the time...and I have lived there for years...
So give Pragoya a break, he is merely helping... be thankful for his Zensticks, I think they're great! -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, June 4, 2007 - 8:41 AMUpavas.....There are many Hawaiian spiritualists, I'm an ol' Kailua girl. They are not easily found. There is much Huna floating around the islands....so an offering
ho opomaika i a me lokomaika........ Krishna -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 10:42 AMYes, there is Huna floating around the islands. And as far as spirituality is concerned, yes some, very little and far between. What you see mostly is a bitterness of the Hawaiian people towards anyone who is not Hawaiian (see the Trask sisters) , and a greed for material things that is unprecedented anywhere, even worse than New Zealand Maori... The racism of the hawaiian people actually disgusts me. I remember mean Hawaiian people when we wanted to make parties at the beach, simple nonviolent events where no one was disturbed because we were far enough away from peoples houses and with just a peaceful and blissful overflowing energy, they simply came, broke it up and threatened us physically. If that is the spirituality you are talking about, combined with all the trash they leave lying around with a pretense of "caring for the aina" then no thanks... I have no interest in that kind of spirituality... that said, I know that Hawaii is a strong energetic place and it's magnetic pull. however, that is the place, not the people. -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 2:20 PMSex is war, love is too...:-))))))))
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Wed, June 6, 2007 - 6:51 AMlove, sex, sexlove, lovesex......expecting, be present and go with the flow, surrender to what is or resist a choice you make, make the choice in the moment..........YOU know......what you focus on expands......allow yourself to be and play, so serious.....enjoy!
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Thu, June 7, 2007 - 4:27 PMSex and Love are natural.
Just bear in mind most people are deeply hurt,
and have a tough time just reacting !
yours,
ML. -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Wed, June 13, 2007 - 5:13 AM"Prayer is still a meeting, so ultimately it also has to be transcended. In prayer, the devotee and the divine are different; the bhakta and the bhagwan are different. It is still a meeting. That is why Meera or Theresa, could use sexual terms for their prayer experiences.
One must meditate in prayerful moments. Again, be a witness to it. See the communion between you and the whole. This requires the subtlest awareness possible. If you can be aware of the meeting between you and the whole, then you transcend yourself and the whole both. Then you are the whole. And in this whole, there is no duality; there is only oneness.
This oneness is sought through sex, through love, through prayer. This oneness is what is longed for. Even is sex, the longing is for the oneness. Bliss comes because, for a single moment, you have become one. Sex deepens into love, love deepens into prayer, and prayer deepens into total transcendence, a total oneness.
This deeping is always through meditation. The method is always the same. Levels differ, dimensions differ, steps differ, but the method is the same. Dig into sex and you with find love. Go deep into love and you will come to prayer. Dig into prayer and you will explode into oneness. This oneness is the total, this oneness is the bliss, this oneness is the ecstasy."
Osho, The Psychology of the Esoteric
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, July 23, 2007 - 12:32 PMwhy do prayer, etc, when yiou can directly meditate. So long as a wish is in the subcounscious, i guess prayer is not needed. say i wanna pass an exam. I should not pray to pass cos I already have the wish, so I follow the flow and study hard. But i meditate to free myself. Prayer dioes not go in here i guess. I thimnk prayer is when you supplicate for favours, you can do that to anyone in power: the teacher, some god, etc. But the material world should be attacked physically, and the oneness discovered through meditation. To me, the best prayer is hard work. I also think that by digging deep into sex we become obsessed and trapped. Just enjoy the sex that is available, and chat up women for more, but if you wanna find enlightenment through sex, then you have to find someone and depend on that person, or form a sex cult. It is obviously straightforward to go direxctly into meditation of awareness. After that, you can enjoy whatever you want, say sex, with your realization. Sex is like food, you can use it as a ritual, like tea drinking, but let us be honest that if you wanna get love or enlightenment through sex, it is more complicated. Why go the hard way?
I never pray, because my subconscious altready knows what i need in the physical world. No favoritism. -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Mon, July 23, 2007 - 4:06 PMJust float.
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Tue, July 10, 2007 - 3:27 AMMan!!! Do not worry. You create problems in your own mind: if you were true to those girls and did not rape them, then all is fine. Sex is recreational, and you do not need to fall in love to deserve that. You have love for yourself, for life, and for everyone. That is enough. The love you are talking about is some form of attachment.
But if u wanna get commited to make a family, you can promise the girl that you will only be with her. However, even if u are married and you have other sexual partners and your wife already knew u were that type before accepting you, then u are true to yourself. All lies in being true to yourself, being yourself, and being open to your partner. A man could be dating many girls because of his character, in the dating community, and still live a spiritual life. SEX can NEVER be a sin. Hurting someone is bad, sex with the wrong person at the wrong place might be bad for the people watching, maybe not for you. But since you love people, you wouldn't wanna hurt them deliberately. Therefore, my friend, if girls need you, enjoy. If they wanna get attached when u are not ready, they will know you are not ready if u are tyrue to yourself, and their inner self will tell them to pull back.
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Tue, July 10, 2007 - 3:35 AMBoth Love and Sex are temporary. Love lasts longer, sex shorter. But you can still have sex with the ugliest woman just because of your love, if you are strong enough and if the motive in your mind is to give her a taste and boost her self esteem, but be true to her that she cannot have you for ever.
Love is wanting others to be happy.
Refuse her sex, this is also love.
Follw with the flow, stopp yourself as a choice. That stop is also the flow.
Never you hurt deliberately. Hurting by mistake is human, because to err is human. Are we not human?
If you feel her energy without sex, and do it well, fine. Do you do the lower chakra breathing and squeezing that inner chakra when with her? That is very good.
If you build this sexual energy too much with such good techniques, you might explode one day and rap a goat. -
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Re: How to distinguish Love and Sex
Sun, October 28, 2007 - 3:38 PMI never met osho in person but i've read a lot of his books. Besides i am initiated in tao and i know osho loved taoism. So i will tell you, dont try to find an answer just follow what your intuition tells you. dont put your mind on it. Dont try to understand or explain whats happening or what is going to happen after. Just enjoy the moment. And the next and the next. And always be honest with you and with the other person about what you think or feel, be clear and you'll see that you will never feel responsable for the other choice whether loves you or not. So the other person can not expect nothing from you and you always can feel free. Love is just an instance that we can multiply but in it's essence is nothing more than that.
www.ekilibrium.com
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